Reflections on an experience of gender-based violence

«I lived through an extreme situation that left me physically and emotionally broken, and on top of that, I encountered a system that failed to protect or support me. This led to years of silence, guilt, and disconnection. But when I finally found a safe and specialized space, I was able to begin forgiving myself, understanding my emotions, rebuilding my self-esteem, and recovering parts of myself I thought were lost.«

«"Today I speak from a different place: from the clarity that what I experienced doesn't define who I am now. I've set boundaries, I've reclaimed my life, and I continue on a journey of growth that has taught me to look at myself with respect, love, and much more strength than I ever imagined. Today I can say loud and clear: I want to live my life to the fullest.".» 

What didn't work for me

• Institutional lack of protection: feeling that the police minimized what was happening and that the evidence was not taken seriously.
• The judicial treatment was cold and dehumanized, more concerned with looking good than understanding my situation.
• Inadequate social guidance, full of prejudices and advice that increased my guilt instead of helping me.
• I went through psychologists without training in trauma or violence, who didn't know how to deal with what I was experiencing.
• I learned to keep quiet because speaking only reopened wounds and I didn't get any real support.
• The guilt I carried around because of comments, looks, and the constant feeling that I was responsible for what I had suffered.
• Anxiety, low self-esteem, and self-destructive behaviors appeared because she lacked the tools to manage her pain.
• The isolation I was forced into left me without a safety net or support.
• The emotional breakdown years later, when the trauma returned with greater force because it had never been dealt with.
• I escaped through drugs to numb myself and avoid facing emotions that scared me.

What DID help me

• Finally finding a specialized professional who understood trauma from the inside.
• Work through the guilt and dismantle it little by little until I stop carrying something that didn't belong to me.
• Learning to speak to myself well, to listen to myself and to recover my own voice.
• Doing exercises that helped me recognize emotions, feel them without fear, and release them when necessary.
• Rebuilding my self-esteem and understanding that I don't have to be perfect for anyone.
• Start setting boundaries, even if it's difficult, and stick to them without feeling guilty.
• Regaining my autonomy: doing things on my own, reconciling with my city, reclaiming spaces that used to scare me.
• Accepting that healing is a long and non-linear process, and that my pace is valid.
• To feel supported, but without being dependent; to find a balance between professional support and my own life.
• Redefining myself: leaving behind the identity marked by trauma and recognizing my strength, my limits, and my worth.

MCG Brave, resilient, and fighting young woman.

 

The forest of your memory
has been devastated.
Are you afraid of dying?
But it's much worse.
that you self-destruct.
You get up without meaning to,
You're looking for help.
Do you know anyone who is a professional?
Listen without judgment.
You arrange appointments, he guides you
and brings light back to your days.
Weeks and months go by
And you stop worrying, you grow up.
Spring has returned
to the forest you were fleeing from.
That's when you understand:
what it was,
that's not who I am
and what I am
I am not yet what I can be.
Thank you for every second
invested in improving my life.

MCG.